I knew the moment he picked up his guitar and opened his mouth to lead worship in front of a rowdy bunch of junior high kids that I loved him. He would be my husband. I was barely twenty and we had been dating all of maybe six days, but this unmistakable stirring in my heart was love. ~Jen Ferguson
This is my friend Jen and her husband, Craig. They did something wonderful and scary and obedient and brave. They wrote a book, not just any book, but they wrote a book about porn addiction. Yep, they sure did. Do you want a peek? Well, of course you do. Here it is:
Now if you know me personally, you know sharing is tough for me. What? You want to know what laundry detergent I use? What? Why? That just seems so personal. Let’s go there later. For now, let’s just focus on you.
That’s not Jen and Craig. Jen and Craig have decided to use their story to help others, and they have decided to use their story to glorify God.
As you can imagine, I’m pretty dang proud.
Here are Six Surprises I Learned from Pure Eyes, Clean Heart.
1. A lot of people engage in the use of porn, like a whole lot. The Fergusons quote a study of college students ages 18–26, in which researchers found that 86% of young adult men reported having used pornography in the past year, with approximately one fifth reporting daily or every-other-day use and 48.4% reporting weekly pornography use.
2. Cheater, Cheater. People who have cheated on their spouse were three times more likely to have engaged with Internet pornography.
3. Jen says it’s not about you or those other women on the screen. She states, “The war is not against your body. It is not against porn stars. It is not against your husband. It is against the powers of this dark world.”
4. Craig says it’s false that Internet filters can curb or cure pornography addictions. Craig goes on to state, “In my experience setting up software programs is only a temporary fix.”
5. We are wired to share our burdens.
I believe God put in us this innate desire to help each other, but often, when we are the ones in need, we convince ourselves that perhaps we should just carry on alone. We tell ourselves that no one else could withstand the weight. We think our burden to be too much and people are too busy with their own issues and problems. We push aside the notion of asking for help because we are afraid we might be judged, looked down upon, invalidated, or disbelieved. ~Jen Ferguson
6. No matter where you are in your relationship, remember to delight in your spouse. One of my favorite parts of the book is when the Fergusons remind us to delight in each other, to remember what drew us to our spouse in the first place. I love it when Jen pushes us to become “enraptured in the moments profoundly good”.
As an added bonus: I want you to know Jen Ferguson is as real as it gets. She was one of the first people I met online who I later met in person who I will chat it up in Texas with soon. She is exactly who she seems to be, and I truly believe Pure Eyes, Clean Heart has the power to impact many.
Should you want to learn more about Jen and Craig, go here. Should you want to get in the date night giveaway the Fergusons have put together, check this out. Should you want to skip all of that and go straight for the book, click here.